San Diego

My first impression was that it is San Diego. Arid, brown, lots of xeriscaping.

American

Maybe this is not a nice thing to say, but it feels American. That might be part of why it feels like San Diego.

Tel Aviv Shopping Mall (click to enlarge)

• Road signs are the same shape, color, and font as in the US.
• Barriers along the motorways are quite similar in design
• Lots of English everywhere. I even saw graffiti in English
• The shopping mall I went to had:
  • Nike
  • Billabong
  • McDonalds
  • Toys R Us

And yet, not American

They use the metric system for most things. They have Western European electrical outlets and telephones. The road markings that indicate "this lane for Tel Aviv" look more like the European roads than American ones.

I Love Shekels

The currency is so simple. They have shekels. Things are priced in shekels. Unlike Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Francs, or various other currencies, though, you simply have shekels. There's roughly 5 shekels to the dollar, so you have to deal with some bigger numbers than you would in dollars, pounds or euros. So my meal was 79 shekels instead of $16.00, but you don't need a decimal place. There's nothing less than one shekel. You don't see prices for things as 799.99. Of course they still write prices like 799 instead of 800.

What I love about it is the fact that all the coins I have are meaningful. They have 1 and 5 shekel coins, and notes for 20 on up. No piddly half-a-shekel coins or 1 hundredth of a shekel coins. The 1 euro and 2 euro cent coins, like their 1p and 1 US cent cousins are completely useless. They're a waste of space. In some Euro countries, they don't even use the 1 and 2 cent coins. I think it's Amsterdam where they don't give you coins for less than 5 euro cents. It's all just rounded. Israel's like that and I like it.

It turns out that I was mainly going to nice restaurants and hotels and things. If you do regular-people things like grocery shopping, you can pay in fractions of a shekel.

I Love the Food

I love hummus, tahini, couscous, salads, and all the other delicious stuff there. I have a chance to go there again in the near future and I'm looking forward to it.

• Frequency of travel. I travel several times a month, if not weekly sometimes. And though I'm on the Eurostar and European airports now, I fly through Dulles 9 times out of 10 that I'm coming to the US. I find the TSA procedures quite invasive. TSA administrator John Pistole's wrote in an op ed piece that "in recent public opinion surveys, four out of five people approve of the machines and seven in 10 frequent fliers support the use of these machines and pat-downs." Not surprisingly, frequent travelers are less supportive than the public as a whole. Even the TSA's own data support this result.
• Faith in technology. I work in software security. I routinely see systems abused, misused, and hacked. I routinely see the work of software engineers pushed as fast as they can go on optimistic project plans that were won at the lowest possible bid. Remember when Windows 95 was used in Therac-25 X-Ray machines and it led to several deaths? I put very little faith in the new technology, or in the people that operate it. This is not to somehow impugn the capabilities of the average TSA person (though there have been some ridiculous incidents). Rather, this technology is quite new. It is cutting edge. Few people can really be said to have mastered it, yet. I don't trust the technology at all. Just because it is new doesn't mean it even functions correctly, much less does it make it better than its predecessor. Both the FAA and the IRS have had astonishing disasters in trying to replace old systems with new technology. Why should we view the TSA with less skepticism?
• Faith in government. How much do you trust the government? I'm trying not to sound like a paranoid conspiracy theorist, but there's a lot of uncertainty about just how much your privacy is protected. It took a Freedom of Information Act request to discover that, although the machines were not going to be deployed with the ability to store images, the TSA machines had a test mode that did store images. One misconfiguration (see above) and images start to get stored. And the government has already been caught abusing it already outside of airports.
• How private you are. In this day and age of social media, lots of people are just fine with publishing a lot of stuff about themselves online. I guess if you don't mind all that publicity of private details, this kind of reduction in privacy doesn't bother you.

So I travel a lot, do not trust the technology, don't trust the government a ton (but I don't wear a tin-foil hat), and I'm a relatively private person. Thus, I think these new screening procedures don't serve my interest. I hope the constitutional challenge succeeds, but I'm expecting it won't.

Building Code

Anyone who has ever stayed in a hotel in London probably has experienced the seemingly endless series of small doors you have to pass through to get from the lobby to your room. If you bring an American sized suitcase and you're lugging it down these Lilliputian corridors, it's annoying to pass through tiny doors every 20 feet or so.

This same thing happens in houses. Not only do you have doors to bedrooms, as you expect, but you often have doors at the ends of hallways and doors in between inner rooms that, in modern American houses, you wouldn't have. I thought this would annoy me. It doesn't. In fact, I find them jolly convenient as I can use them to isolate kids, dogs, or noise. With different doors closed (and sometimes they actually have locks on them), I can really make a small house feel not-so-cramped because I can get some separation from the other inhabitants. Even if they happen to be quite loud.

Packaging

People complain that things are more expensive here. And they are. I have a handful of reasons that I think that's true. For one thing, I find the most trivial of foods and small items come in stronger, more durable packaging than they would in the States. There are these fabulous Gü puddings that come in nice glass dishes. I mean really: for two puddings that you're going to eat, do you really need nice glass dishes in the cardboard box? And the plastic that they use to pack things like power transformers and cables and detritus that comes with electronics: it's all a few microns thicker than what we get in the States. I wonder if this doesn't contribute to the higher prices of things.

"Unlimited" Marketing

The fact of life here in the UK is that nothing is truly unlimited. You pay for everything by the minute, by the megabyte, whatever. They try hard to hide this fact. Any time they can advertise something as "unlimited" or "lifetime" or something else that implies boundlessness, they will.

In the US, we've grown accustomed to words like "Natural" being abused in marketing. I mean, what are you differentiating between when you say "natural" cereal, or "natural" wood? Over here, they will say things like "Unlimited downloads (1GB fair use limit)." At first glance you might think it fair. I mean, after all, we do have fair use limits in the US. But over here, you can find a mobile internet provider offering 3 different plans for the same device that all say "Unlimited," but they have different prices. The difference in the plans is the fair use limit. So "Unlimited" with 3GB fair use is more expensive than "Unlimited" with 1GB fair use. Vauxhall recently started advertising a car with a "lifetime" warranty that is actually just 100,000 miles and is limited to the first owner. Only in the event that the first owner dies before driving 100,000 miles is it a "lifetime" warranty.

Litter

London is dirty. One of the side-effects of the IRA's bombings and such (they had terrorism long before the US did) is that most public trash cans have been removed. At a really busy train station like Clapham Junction (the busiest in Britain), you'll find maybe one per platform. In my section of Canary Wharf, they have a few public rubbish bins that are almost always overflowing. There's simply no place to put that drink bottle, sandwich wrapper, or plastic bag when you're done with it. I've witnessed people walking down the street and  they just chuck a bottle or something behind a bush or leave it behind a lamppost. Like the litter fairy is going to come and clean it up. On the one hand: holy crap—pick up the litter, people! On the other hand: where should they put it?

Housing Density

There are plenty of towns and villages that have American-sized suburbs where you have to drive to get anywhere. But there's a lot more little towns, like the one we live in, that have much more dense buildings. In the Virginia suburbs, school districts are huge because you have to go quite far from the school itself to get enough households with children that will fill a school. To get to school we're compelled to drive big fleets of buses and cars because nobody can reasonably walk to school.

In the UK, though, you can have a school where over half the kids come from within a 1-mile radius. My boys go to two schools that are next door to each other, and the start times are staggered by 5 minutes. You take the youngest in, then the oldest, and it works perfectly. It is a short walk. You can do this in a major city in the US, but not the suburbs.

Bathrooms

In very modern (i.e., renovated this year) bathrooms, you might find sinks with separate hot and cold water taps. They're for sale in your local hardware store, and people still choose them for some reason. I can't imagine why someone would choose this.

You'll never find a light switch on the wall or an electric outlet on the wall in a bathroom. The light switch is outside the bathroom, or it's a pull-chain from the ceiling. You can find shaver outlets from time to time in bathrooms, but never a full-blown electrical socket.

Heated towel racks are quite common in bathrooms. Since most people have radiator heating, they often run a special radiator into the bathroom. You hang your towels on it and they get piping hot. Ahhhhh. It's wonderful.

Opening times

Shops are pretty universal in opening from 10:00am to 5:00pm. Some will open earlier, others may stay open a bit later. A handful of things are open on Sundays. What I find so mindboggling about this system is the question "who is doing the shopping other than OAPs?" (OAP = Old Age Pensioner, not a derogatory term here in the UK). I mean really: if I have to work 9-6, and the shops are open 9-6, when will I shop? The short answer is Saturday. People shop at lunchtimes and on Saturdays.

A side-effect of this paradox is that, at least in the major London area, virtually anything can be delivered cheaply and quickly. You can order office supplies, groceries, furniture, tools, you name it and it will all be delivered often on the same day. Now to be sure, we have delivery in the US. But it's usually FedEx or the postal service or something similar. Here, they just have fleets of independent couriers and delivery vans and such. Probably a lot like what a major city like New York, Boston, or Chicago might have. Since none of us own American-sized SUVs or minivans or the like, delivery is a way of life in certain kinds of shopping.

Telephones

Wow do telephones work. Now, they're complicated and annoying, but the market has been deregulated for some time, and pricing and competition are alive and well. If any American thinks he has seen free market economics at work, he should take a look at the British mobile phone market (and, to a lesser degree, the landline market). You can walk into a store, pay a few quid, and walk out with a phone. Pay as you go (PAYG) is plentiful, cheap, and easy to get. I can go into the fanciest shopping mall and get a 3G dongle for my laptop for £10 (about $16 at the time of this writing) and then pay £15 for a month's "unlimited" service (about $23). That's pay as you go, no contract, no nothing. Try that in the States, just try. Can't be done. Not only that, but I did full motion video conferencing with it back to the US and the quality was good. The telephone infrastructure and payment structure are awesome.

Plumbing

No two sinks, toilets, tubs, showers, dishwashers or washing machines are the same. The hot is not always on the left. To flush a toilet you might push a button, step on a button, pull a chain, turn a knob, or step on a pedal.

Appliances

Most appliances are labeled in hieroglyphics. I guess they figure that they can't be accused of discriminating against some group of people if everyone finds the instructions impossible to decipher. I've seen symbols on microwave ovens that resemble those on a VCR. Goodness knows what it means to press "fast forward" on my microwave. My oven has a symbol that looks like "next track" on a CD player.

Air conditioning

Surely you jest. No, there is no air conditioning (or "air con" as they call it) here. Every house and flat is equipped, however, with windows that open. Only the big, very modern skyscraper office buildings have windows that don't open. However, they never have screens in the windows or doors. Now, true Brits would tell you that's because there are no infestations of mosquitoes and such here. That might be true, but they still have bugs, and enough of them that you'd like screens.

What the windows do have are lots of interesting ways to open. Many can be opened in the rain and they cantilever one way or another to prevent rain from pouring in. Pretty necessary in a place like this.

Conclusion

So that's a few things that are different. I like it over here, generally. But there are definitely a few bits that make me scratch my head and say "huh?"

I travel a lot and I care about the environment. I am very conscious of the ways that travel creates waste. Lots of things are packaged in single-use containers. Services are provided to either meet code or to attract customers. Many of these practices produce a lot of waste one way or another. There are some actions I take from time to time to minimize the amount of waste my travel produces. Let's be clear, I don't do everything on this list on every trip. But I keep these practices in mind every time I have a decision to make.

If you only travel occasionally, some of these tips probably won't be practical. But if you travel a lot, the way I do, you might keep them in mind on your next few trips and see how it turns out. Another thing you may notice is that these tips are often cheaper in one way or another. If you pay your own travel expenses, they'll save you money. If your company pays your travel expenses, you save it money (which may—or may not—come back to you later). If you have a customer paying your travel expenses, you save them money and you're sure they'll appreciate it. If it saves hotels and other companies money, then they have less pressure to raise rates. I believe that saving money is good all around, even if the money you're saving is not your own.

Principles

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

I know it's trite, but you remember it. What people may not remember is that they're ordered. Try to reduce your use of stuff if possible. If you can't reduce it, try to reuse the things that you have to use. If you can't reuse things, recycle them.

Minimize waste

I try to think about the products and services I'm going to receive and try not to order stuff that generates more waste than useful product or service. It's surprising how much can be avoided.

Pretend you pay for everything

At home, I fall into a bit of the classic dad model: "who left this light on?" or "why is the thermostat set at this temperature?" I'm always watching out for electricity, water, and other things that might be wasted around the house. I still think about these concerns when I travel, even though I don't pay directly for my electricity or water usage. Just about everything that causes pollution also costs money. So, if you think about minimizing what it costs (anyone, not just you) to travel, you'll probably reduce environmental impact, too. Not polluting is generally much cheaper than polluting.

Techniques

A baker's dozen ideas you can consider. Some are easier than others.

1. Bring your own soap / shampoo

Chances are, you already pack some toiletries. Pack a small bar of soap. Where can you get it? Just take it with you the next time you go to a hotel. They can't reuse that tiny bar of soap you showered with once. They're going to throw it away. Put it in your bag and take it along. The next hotel won't have to give you a bar of soap. Frankly I find that I can get quite a few uses from a single hotel-sized bar, meaning that each one of them I reuse probably saves 5 or 6.

Shampoo is the same thing. Bring along your own small bottle of it. Bring one that a hotel gives you and use it until it runs out. If you can, refill it at home with your own favorite shampoo. No need to keep throwing the little bottles in the trash.

2. Drink tap water

When you can, drink tap water. The water coming out of the tap in the majority of places is fine. Obviously if you're an American going to India, this advice is not good. But if you're a Virginian going to California, there's no reason not to drink the tap water. Bottled water creates a ton of waste. Bring a nalgene or other reusable water bottle with you and fill it at water fountains or sinks. This is a great, free way to get water after you've passed the security checkpoint at the airport. Empty water bottles pass with no trouble. Reusable water bottles will save you a ton of money, given that bottled water is many times more expensive than gasoline.

Drink that tap water in your water bottle if you get a quick, to-go meal at the airport. Not only do you save money, but it's also healthier and you prevent one more disposable cup from going to the landfill.

3. Use a shuttle van

If you have a choice of using a shuttle van or taxi, and the shuttle service makes sense, use it. They're usually a fraction of the cost of a taxi, at the expense of making you wait until enough people are going in the same direction as you. Shuttles are spotty. Sometimes you wait 5 minutes, sometimes it's 40 minutes. Any time you can share a ride on a trip, you're clearly saving money as well as pollutants in the environment. One van dropping nine people is far better than nine cars dropping nine people.

This one is hard for me, since I often rent a car to get to my customers' offices. At home, a taxi costs about $17, the shuttle costs $20, and parking my own car costs $16 a day. Getting from my house to the airport is essentially the same cost, and the convenience of my own car is a real temptation. The main time I use shuttles is when I'm going somewhere like a conference and I'm pretty much going from the airport to the hotel, and then going back to the airport a few days later.

4. Reuse towels and sheets

Many hotels offer to allow you to reuse towels if you hang them up. Some will only change sheets every few days unless you ask them to. This is theoretically a great way to save the environment. It radically reduces the energy, detergents, and waste water that hotels use laundering linens. Less laundering also gives those linens a longer duty cycle, requiring fewer replacements over time. Many hotels tout their commitment to the environment and their love of mother earth, blah, blah, blah.

I always do this. I find that the housekeeping staff, however, replaces the towels regardless most of the time. You may as well try. If you hang the towels up just like they looked when you got into the room, maybe then they won't be changed. Maybe. Anyways, we should all get in the habit of doing this, so that the towels will be reused someday when the housekeepers are finally instructed to leave used towels hanging.

5. Turn off the air conditioner

This is a big way to save the environment. Air conditioners at hotels are notoriously inefficient. They're ill-maintained, energy wasting, and many have either no thermostat or a very crude one. I can't tell you how many times I've stayed at hotels where the dial on the thermostat could have been labeled "freeze your nuts off" on one side and "sauna" on the other. And then there's the "high" and "low" speed settings that determine how soon you will either freeze your nuts off or roast. Most of these units run more or less constantly, wasting a ton of energy.

If you're like me, you leave your hotel room in the morning, do stuff away from the hotel all day long, and then come back to sleep. I often don't even go into my room until after dinner and drinks. From 8:00am until 9:30 or 10:00pm, that air conditioner/heater is running constantly for nothing. I turn the thing completely off when I leave in the morning, and turn it on when I get back in the evening. It may run a little harder for the first 30 or 40 minutes when I get back, but that's nothing compared to the savings of not running at all for 14 hours.

Many hotels have installed motion sensors that are attached to the thermostat. If you're in the room, the thermostat does what you say. A short while after it detects that you have gone, it allows the temperature to rise or fall quite a bit, still keeping it reasonable, but allowing it to get much hotter or colder than you had originally set. I overheard a property manager at a Marriott talk about having such a system installed. He was telling a colleague that it was expensive to install, but it paid for itself in just a few months because of all the electricity it saved.

Until your hotel has motion sensors, turn off the A/C when you leave the room for the day.

6. Watch the electricity

We all know that wasting electricity creates pollution. There are a lot of ways you can save electricity when you travel. The air conditioner is an obvious and big one. But it's important to do simple things, too. Housekeepers, in my experience, have a "leave it as you found it" approach to making up your room. Even though you're gone all day, if they find a light on in the morning when they come in, they'll leave it on when they're done. Thus, the light you leave on in the morning will burn all day until you get back. Turn off the lights, TV, and so on. If you don't, they'll run all day, wasting electricity and contributing to pollution.

7. Decline the newspaper

Many hotels now provide a newspaper to your room every morning. If you look at the fine print, you will often discover that you can decline the daily newspaper and save yourself anywhere from $1 to $2 per day. Not only that, but you save one more newspaper from being recycled.

Obviously, it doesn't work quite like that. Theoretically, though, they order one fewer newspaper, which means one fewer is printed, which gets back to our primary goal of reducing. In practice, it may not really work out that way. They may order a fixed number and the paper you decline just ends up in a pile in the lobby. But if everyone did this, they'd definitely order fewer papers, and that would be good for the environment. Start small, do your part, and everyone doing their little parts will add up to something larger.

8. Decline housekeeping service

One of the ways you can be sure that your linens don't get washed too much and your towels don't get laundered more than you want is to control your housekeeping service. If you put your "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door all day, they will leave it alone. Obviously you'll have a messier room, and you won't get things refreshed (like coffee, shampoo, soap, etc.). If you're trying to reduce waste by reducing the number of disposable toiletries and sundries they provide, this complements that plan. I'm not suggesting that you decline service always. You could, however, decline it once or twice during a week. That will also reduce electricity spent on vacuuming, cleansers used in cleaning, and waste associated with wipes, gloves, or other things that the housekeepers will use cleaning the room.

9. Use digital receipts when possible

As a business traveler, I have to submit receipts for most of my travel expenses. I can't avoid the paper receipt that I get for hotels, rental cars, restaurants, etc. But, when I turn them in, I can scan them or take a digital photo of them. Some folks will lay receipts on a photocopier to get them all just a few pages and to make them all uniform size (US letter). That wastes a few sheets of paper for negligible benefit. You can avoid this small waste by just scanning or photographing the receipts and emailing them to be reimbursed.

10. Share rental cars

When possible, share rental cars with colleagues. It saves pollutants, gas usage, and money. Real simple. Real obvious.

11. Look at the carbon impact of air travel

It is possible, if you want to, to look at the amount of CO2 your air travel will produce. Sometimes you have equally reasonable options, but one pollutes less. I don't find this handy myself, but it is out there. If you're doing something else to offset your carbon usage, this helps you estimate the impact of your air travel.

12. Don't take unnecessary stuff

Airlines, car rental agencies, taxis, hotels all give you stuff that you don't need. Refuse it. Just nicely tell them you don't need it. Some examples:

• Folders for holding your boarding passes. Most airlines will stick your luggage claim tags in these multi-fold holders and stick your boarding passes in them. Just collect the stickers. Leave the folder behind.
• Maps at rental car agencies. If you don't really need it, don't accept it. The fewer they give away, the slower they'll have new copies printed. It slows down the consumption and waste.
• Promotional materials. Hotels, rental car companies, and others will try to give you fliers, coupon books, and other promotional nonsense. Get in the habit of refusing it. You can always get a copy of it later if you change your mind.
• Don't open or use items sealed in plastic, unless you're going to use them. It sorta goes without saying, but there are a lot of things on airplanes you can keep intact. For example headsets, blankets, comfort items (like blindfolds and the like), are all sealed. Keep them sealed unless you use them, so they can be offered to other passengers, instead.

13. Stay in extended stay rooms

Many times I find that hotels like StayBridge Suites or Residence Inn by Marriott will be comparable in price to a more traditional hotel (e.g., a Hilton, Hyatt, or Holiday Inn). The difference is that the extended stay hotels come equiped with kitchens, dishes, cooking utensils, etc. To minimize cost, waste, and the impact on my waistline, I stay at these properties and eat in. Eating in my room is much cheaper, pretty convenient, healthier, and less wasteful on the environment. Sure, there's nothing wrong with going out sometimes, but when I'm traveling I'm eating out nearly every meal.

Conclusion

You can't save the world alone. My belief, though, is that many of us taking small steps can make a difference. I also believe that if many people began to do this, it would affect how travel businesses provide their services. Perhaps fewer papers would be ordered, fewer disposable items would be produced, and more reusable options would become available. Plus, with all the talk these days about fuel efficiency in cars and other major life changes, let's not overlook the actions that take no technological revolution to make an impact.

Just get me home.

Do not accept articles from persons who are unknown to you.

also heard as

Do not accept articles from unknown persons.

and so on.

Why can't we say something like:

Do not accept anything from someone you don't know.

I wonder how many people with limited English comprehension can understand "persons." I'm sure they're taught "people" or "someone" before they're taught "persons." If you're picking up the language informally, you're surely not going to learn "persons," though you can probably figure it out. What about "articles"? A non-native English speaker is likely to hear "article" refer to a newspaper, magazine, or even item of clothing. Outside of legal contexts, it is rare to see "article" refer to general items of any kind. It seems to me that "anything" is a much better choice because it's actually clearer (let's not quibble over what "article" means: don't accept anything). Plus, it's a word that someone is likely to know.

Here's another phrase:

Report any suspicious persons or activities to the nearest law enforcement officer.

I already talked about "persons." Even though I'm not fond of "activities" here, I don't have a better word. In this case, I'm thinking of "law enforcement officer." What about saying "police or security" here? Again, it seems pretty clear, and anyone who has lived in the US a short time will at least know "police" if not also "security.

On airplanes there's usually some announcement about "congregating" near the "flight deck door." That's the door to the cockpit, you know, the place where the pilots sit. Who calls that the "flight deck?" And "congregating?" Although it may be undesirable to use the unofficial terms, it's better to be clear. Why not just say "no one is allowed to stand near the cockpit"?

My point is that people try to be overly formal in a misguided attempt to be clear. I think formality is unclear, especially for the masses.

In talking to our driver, I ask why there are so few cabs. He said that the drivers don't want to work in these icy conditions. Good thing Washington Flyer has a monopoly on taxi service to the airport. Rather than call on outside taxi companies to increase capacity, they make the passengers double up and wait on Washington Flyer taxis. Who benefits? Me? No. Drivers? No. Just the MWAA.

A few other things come out. Although Washington Flyer cabs are required to accept credit cards, the driver pays the credit card fee. That is, it comes out of his share of the fare. Furthermore, the driver pays $2.50 per trip out of the airport, no matter how far he's going. Washington Flyer's own brochure even says that they require drivers to:

• Carry more insurance than is considered industry standard
• Purchase a GPS unit (whether they need it or want it)
• Wash and vacuum their vehicles daily

You know who pays for all that, too: the driver.

So, remember how they're "synonymous with choice"? Who gets to choose something here? The driver got to choose the make and model of his vehicle. I think that's it. I can't choose my taxi company, my driver can't choose how he runs his own cab.

I'm trying to figure out who benefits from this, and the only answer I can come up with is the Metro Washington Airports Authority. They make profit at everyone else's expense. I wait on taxis, drivers can barely make enough to live on, and MWAA gets profit.

Why not do like every other airport: charge the taxis a fee when they go out (e.g. $3) and be done? Accept every taxi that comes in. It's simpler to administer, better for passengers, better for taxis, etc. Although you can imagine various arguments like "this monopoly guarantees quality and guarantees that taxis will be available," I don't give those arguments much weight. Bigger airports, busier airports, and airports that have more inclement weather and such all do things with unrestricted taxis. Boston, New York, Atlanta, Chicago: they're all unrestricted. In fact, I've flown to a lot of places and have never yet seen another airport like Dulles where the cabs are restricted.

Paco Hope is syonymous with a contented, taxi patron who sees no need for improvement in the system.

The main theme of my counter-rant is "what did you expect to find in a post-Katrina Mississippi casino?" I also want to talk about second chances. I'll quote excerpts of his original text, and comment in the middle, much like you might do in email.

My wife and I decided to go out for the evening Saturday Night. ... It's been a year since the massive hurricane destroyed most of the Mississippi Gulf Coast and the recovery and rebuilding effort is coming along nicely; with massive amounts of money from the re-opening casinos providing tax revenue and employment opportunities to the residents.

Good point. Although it had been a year, the recovery was pretty tough. As his descriptions of the conditions confirm, they're not done recovering yet. And those "employment opportunities"? You can believe they're not paying top wages. With unemployment as high as it is, there's no need to pay high wages. People are pretty desperate to get a decent job, like a casino job.

The "I-P" as it likes to be called was one of the first casinos to re-open and in their rush to get back into business they neglected to include any semblance of opulence, luxury, or ventilation.

I wonder how much opulence and luxury was there to begin with. This ISN'T Vegas, WASN'T Vegas, and never will be Vegas. It's the middle of nowhere, Mississippi. There's nothing wrong with Mississippi, but on the list of grand, luxurious casinos, it doesn't rank at all. It sounds like a case of mismatched expectations.

This casino doesn't live up to that Vegas-image you might see on "CSI", nor does it live up to that Native-American casino you saw on "Family Guy".

Frankly, if TV, cartoons, and movies give you your idea of reality, you've got a lot to learn.

First, it was hot. Not warm, HOT...as in no ventilation, as in the A/C barely worked. Imagine a throng of thousands; thousands of mostly desperately broke and unwashed people thrown together for hours on end; now imagine them chain smoking, drinking endless rounds of alcohol, and sweating.

OK. No argument here. Probably really true.

Nope, James Bond in a tuxedo playing Baccarat was no where to be seen.

Well, somebody who buys a ten-dollar roll of quarters to play one at a time, will never see James Bond in a tuxedo playing $5000 a hand at Baccarat. I bet if you wanted to play a hundred dollars per hand at blackjack, you'd find the high-rollers room to be a lot more comfortable. Again, mismatched expectations. You expect the casino to spend its money pampering someone who comes in with a handful of dollars to spend? Why? As you attest, they can get throngs of dirty people to give their money freely with no pampering at all.

Second, we decided to have dinner first. ... Every other restaurant (I think there was 4) also had a wait of an hour or more.

There was 4? Watch the grammar, Dave. I believe in second chances, as you'll see below. You use up your second and third chances in this one article alone. On a prime-time saturday night, whether you're in Mississippi or Vegas, there's gonna be a wait for dinner if you don't have reservations. Again, mismatched expectations. Try going to a nice casino restaurant in Vegas on a Saturday night with no reservations. See how long you wait. James Bond in his tuxedo, playing $5000 per hand at Baccarat doesn't wait. You and I, we either make reservations, or we wait.

We finally got on a waiting list at the Grill, and waited 40 minutes, but did manage to have a nice dinner with good service.

Kudos to you for giving them props where they deserve it.

She asks the cashier for a roll of quarters. The cashier says, "What you want quarters for, you making a phone call?"

A single roll of quarters. A whole ten dollars. That you'll spend 25 cents at a time. Like I said before: this is not James Bond in a tuxedo betting $5000 per hand at Baccarat. This is the principal mismatch of expectations: these are piddly wagers that are barely worth the casino's time, yet you're frustrated that (during prime time on a Saturday night) you have to wait for food and suffer with non-opulent, non-luxurious conditions. You're not even wagering as much as two movie tickets here. Now, maybe there would have been more to follow if things hadn't gone so badly, but buying a whopping $10 in quarters does not typically entitle a patron to fancy treatment.

It seems that since we last visited a casino last year, they have done away with quarters or tokens, and now the machines only take paper money and pays off with a voucher ticket.

the machines...pays. Strike two Dave. Subject, object agreement in plurality really isn't your strong suit.

In the industry, this is called "TITO" for "Ticket In, Ticket Out." I'm amazed that, in 2005 when you went before, you were able to find coin slots. Most of the big Vegas casinos switched to TITO a long time ago, and many out-of-the-way casinos did, too. My friends who play in a casino in Indiana say that it was TITO back in 2002 when they first went there. That jives with what I know of the industry, which has been steadily eliminating coin machines over the years. Sorry, but this is just the way the gaming industry has been headed for a long time. You happened to catch it late.

The cashier explains this by saying..."Them machines don't take nothing but dollar bills! You don't need no quarters."

Yup. Now, if that's exactly what she said, that's not insulting or rude. (The words, anyways. Anything can be said with a rude tone of voice, however).

So, my darling wife goes to a slot machine and puts in a dollar and wins 12 bucks.

As you say, James Bond at the Baccarat table this isn't.

By this time though, she has thought about the line, "What you want quarters for, you making a phone call? Them machines don't take nothing but dollar bills! You don't need no quarters."

Here's the rub, right? This is the crux of the whole evening. My guess is that she was actually a bit embarrassed. She made a simple mistake of asking for quarters when they're totally useless, and the casino employee mocked her and made her feel dumb. The casino employee was clearly in the wrong. There are an infinite number of nicer ways to say what she said. She could have said "You want quarters for the slot machines? Oh, I'm afraid they don't take quarters any more. Just bills. But you can bring your tickets back here and I'll cash them for you." Right? That employee could have said any number of nice things, but chose to say something mean instead. One of the important things in life, however, is what we do with the choices we have. And it was at this point in the evening that you and your wife had a choice to make: complain, or suck it up.

I think you should have sucked it up. The employee was totally in the wrong. She was rude, she was mean, she lashed out at an innocent person making an innocent mistake. But you should have been the better person and demonstrated compassion and tolerance, rather than try to one-up the rude behavior.

Let's think about some of the circumstances here. This casino employee has a pretty shitty job. Remember how bad you said that casino was? Hot, smelly, rude drunk people all over the place? Well she lives in it and works in it 8 hours a day. She's working prime time on a Saturday night--a night most of us get to go out and have fun. And how much bling is she pulling down at this job? Minimum wage. They'd pay her less if it was legal. There aren't many steady jobs to be had in the area, so they have way more candidates, even for sucky jobs, than they have openings. If she quits or is fired, there are a hundred people lined up for that one shitty cashier job.

This is post-Katrina Mississippi. If she lives close enough to that casino to work there, then she was probably pretty badly affected by the hurricane. And now she's trying to repair her life with a shitty, second-shift, minimum wage job. Gee, I can't imagine why she has a hard time putting on a cheery smile and calling everyone "honey" when they come up to her window.

So now you decide how to respond...

She decides she didn't like that tone, and goes back to the same cashier window to redeem her 12 dollar voucher and asks the cashier for her name.

I'm glad you wrote it that way. She decides that she didn't like that tone. She chooses to go make trouble. That cashier's life couldn't get much worse, but you'll try. The real thing I want to know, when making that kind of decision, is what was the good outcome that you're hoping for?

I can't imagine a good outcome. Is that cashier going to say "I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."? I don't think so, we've figured that much out. She's having a bad day (or a bad life). Is the casino going to consider how she offended one of their high rollers (someone who plays $10 one quarter at a time)? Not likely. Who, really, WHO could come away from this confrontation feeling any better about anything? Did you? No. You came away so frustrated with a predictably blasé response that you had to write a vitriolic blog about it. Did the employee "learn a lesson" or have any sort of epiphany thanks to your approach? No. She just got one more lesson of "man, this is a shitty job. I'd quit if I had an alternative." And when you confront someone and say "what's your name? I want to tell your supervisor that you were rude," is there any reason to be surprised that you get a little resistance? Really: what was the possible good outcome from all this? For anyone?

The cashier apologizes profusely by saying, "I don't know what you are talking about! I've never seen YOUR UGLY FACE BEFORE! YOU MUST be DRUNK!

OK. If the cashier was rude before, she has completely gone off the deep end here. I'm taking you at face value, Dave, and assuming that everything you recorded happened exactly as you say. She's way wrong. That's an insult and it's mean. Let's be clear, though, it was provoked. If she hadn't been confronted with "what's your name? I'm going to tell your boss," she would have been gruff, but mechanical and would have given you your twelve dollar jackpot with no insults. That's all you can really hope for in these situations. Your expectations are all wrong.

I think it is highly likely that the cashier had no recollection of talking to your wife, too. Given the hundreds of people she must deal with on a hot, smelly, busy Saturday, she probably tries not to think about any of them. Like I said, this is not a job where she pampers a high-paying customer. She just deals the cash in and out. It is likely that she pays no attention at all to someone's face or voice or anything. Just count the checks, validate the tickets, pay the cash.

My wife collects her 12 dollars from another cashier and gets the name of the rude cashier from her badge on her shirt, as she turns to leave.

Good thinking: looking at the badge. I think you'll notice that every casino employee wears them, even the management, if they're working on the floor.

Now, my wife ... still turns heads [blah blah blah].
Also, ... we have a Culligan water cooler in our house and she drinks about 12 glasses a day. [blah blah blah]

Come on. By now you must be tired of me beating up on you about the ten dollars and the James Bond comment. Why? Because I took you literally when it was really a figurative comment. You didn't really expect tuxedos and opulent furnishings. You just didn't expect it to look as bad as it did. You exaggerated for effect. Me, too. I took your exaggeration literally and then went overboard with it. Why? To point out that it's a dumb way to make an argument. So, when you're insulted, just take it as the insult it is. There is no need to defend it on a point-by-point basis and say "I'm not ugly and I'm not drunk." Duh. If she said "Yo momma's fat" you shouldn't discuss your mother's weight, either. It's an insult Dave, let it pass.

When I heard about this episode, I immediately took my wife to the front desk of the "Imperial Palace Sucks" and asks to speak with someone about this cashier's rude behavior.

At this point, you're doing the right thing, but remember that we got here because you went to make trouble in the first place. If you didn't go up to the cage with demands for name, rank, and serial number, you wouldn't have gotten an insult at all. Although you had been treated rudely once, there was no way to improve the situation. No additional rudeness or politeness on your part would repair that event. The best you could do would be to avoid the rude cashier and hope to find a nicer one. The worst you could do is what you did: go be rude right back.

I was offered a form to fill out, but declined and asked to speak to a manager personally. After a few minutes, my wife and I was greeted by a Casino host.

You was greeted, huh? Strike three.

We asked if we could speak privately about a rude employee, but was told that where we stood would be fine.

You was told, too, huh? Strike four. Look: everybody has bad days. People deserve second chances. Nobody needs to be beaten up over a single mistake. Just like your wife shouldn't have been treated rudely just because she asked about obsolete quarters, the cashier shouldn't be abused just because she had a bad night and snapped. You shouldn't be beaten up because you goofed in a blog and used some bad grammar. I'm not going to spell-check or grammar-check my writing here, so there will probably be at least an error or two in it. Cut me some slack.

The casino host took down our name and address, the name of the cashier, and then weakly apologized by saying, "I'm sorry you experienced that, we've never received a complaint about that person; I'm not saying it didn't happen, and we will address it." That's it.

This is where I again start to wonder: what did you think would happen? Did you expect the host to march to the cashier and say "You were rude. You're fired. Get out."? Did you expect her to walk with you over to the cashier and treat the cashier like a 4-year-old kid: "Miss Cashier, you hurt Mrs. Robinson's feelings. We don't use naughty words like that. Please apologize to Mrs. Robinson. You're going to have a "time-out" in the break room for 45 minutes (one minute for every year you are old)."? What could you possibly and realistically expect?

Even if the host was going to take significant disciplinary actions against that cashier, it's none of your business. You do not have any right to see it happen in front of you. It's a private matter between the employee and the employer. So if you were hoping for some victorious moment where you'd see the cashier get her come-uppance, you should plan to be disappointed. It would be very poor form indeed (and almost certainly illegal) to make private employment disciplinary actions public.

Oh yeah, she did say, "I hope you give us a second chance."

Exactly. Second chances, Dave. People deserve them. You, me, your wife, the cashier. Everybody deserves them. One strike does not make an out.

I then told her, that I was not impressed with her apology

Ugh! The host did not get on her knees and beg your forgiveness. You sound like the great Patriarchs of the Bible. "So wondrous is my wrath that it will not be satisfied."

I thought that the cashier needed to be moved to a NON-customer service position

Yes. I can see where your one visit per year, playing tens of dollars each visit would give you the broad vision of how the casino should handle its employees. And, like I said, for the employer to tell you what the disciplinary action was going to be would almost certainly violate employment laws of one kind or another.

You expected, as a result of two rude comments to a single patron, that the casino management would immediately demote or move that employee? All I can say is that I'm glad I don't work for you. You know, I do good work, but I have been known to put my foot in my mouth every once in a while: with colleagues, customers, managers, etc. Thankfully, Dave, they don't react as you would like: They don't immediately fire me or remove me to a back-office position after a single mistake. I have no idea if you ever had a boss treat you this way, but I hope you would quit if they did.

and that I would be writing a full-fledge-righteous-indignation blog post on this very night and to please inform her bosses to please read "The Imperial Palace Sucks" at "On The Road With Dave"

That's "full-fledged," Dave. Strike five. Anyways, when I read your blog out loud to some friends (who were staying with me at the Imperial Palace in Las Vegas), this was the line that made them snort out loud. I think the only threat more terrifying than "I'm going to blog about this" is "I'm going to tell my mom!" And I'm sure the casino management all went to their computers with trembling fingers and searched for your blog entry--afraid of what horrors they might find, yet unable live with the terrible uncertainty of not knowing what you had said in your blog.

Right after that, I asked her one last question, "Could you give me directions to The Biloxi Grand Casino?"

Way to stick it to 'em. They're going to miss your ten dollars. How will they possibly survive? Actually, if you did anything to hurt them it was by making their salaried casino host spend time talking with you. That was valuable time that she could have spent doing something productive. You were a lost cause by the time she spoke to you. You had probably already vowed to be self-righteous and never come to that casino again. So she was wasting her time to even talk to you. That cost them in salary dollars. Your piddly wagers are nothing to them. Your storming out simply made room for a bunch of other suckers who will throw away hard-earned cash--cash they can nary afford to lose. Whoopdie doo. Way to stick it to the man.

In closing, I just want to add that I-P may stand for Imperial Palace, but I think the more appropriate choice would be:

Inconsiderate People, Incredibly Poor, and Icky-Poo.

Actually IP doesn't stand for "Imperial Palace" any more, because when they sold the Imperial Palace in Las Vegas to Harrah's (in 2005), they were probably required to change the name of the Biloxi property (which was not sold to Harrah's). They probably sold the name "Imperial Palace" to Harrahs, and thus had to change the Biloxi to "IP Casino, Spa and Resort."

Holy cow, though. Reading your blog I come to understand that you're a stand-up comedian? You're kidding right? "Icky-Poo"? That's it? That's the best you can do? Good grief.

So, in summary, two points:

• Set your expectations right. Mississippi is not Monte Carlo. Ten dollars in slots play does not get you James Bond treatment. If you show up to a popular restaurant on a Saturday night without a reservation, you will wait. Casino employees with shitty lives, shitty paychecks, and shitty jobs may actually be rude sometimes. Amazingly, some of these folks are really decent and rise above every excuse to be rude and are really pleasant. Still, if you catch one on a bad day, don't be so shocked. It happens.
• People deserve second chances, even when they do rude things. There was no value in berating or confronting that cashier. There is no value in boycotting a casino based on a single unpleasant night. There is no reason your wife deserved rude treatment just for asking a simple question. She deserved a second chance, and so does everybody else.

That's the best picture my iPhone could do.