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	<title>Paco Hope &#187; Childbirth</title>
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	<link>http://paco.to</link>
	<description>My Random Musings and Rants</description>
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		<title>Paco&#8217;s Books on Birth, Babies, and Kids</title>
		<link>http://paco.to/2009/pacos-books-on-birth-babies-and-kids</link>
		<comments>http://paco.to/2009/pacos-books-on-birth-babies-and-kids#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Mar 2009 03:16:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>paco</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Childbirth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discipline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paco.to/?p=282</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[These are books that I frequently recommend in my childbirth class. Some are better than others. Read on to see my brief comments on each one. Clicking the titles will take you over to Amazon where you can buy a copy for yourself. Probably the first book any expectant father ought to get. It's well [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>These are books that I frequently recommend in my <a href="http://www.hoperesources.org/" target="_blank">childbirth class</a>. Some are better than others. Read on to see my brief comments on each one. Clicking the titles will take you over to Amazon where you can buy a copy for yourself.<span id="more-282"></span></p>
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<td valign="top">Probably the first book any expectant father ought to get. It's well written, and has lots of information about what's going through mom's head and what we can do to help. It takes both the pregnancy and labor itself step-by-step and gives you some pretty decent ideas about what you might feel and how you might best direct your energies.</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0789205386?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0789205386&amp;adid=0RN1BGY8CDDY6XH99NXJ&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51N7MQ4GZTL._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0789205386?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0789205386&amp;adid=0RN1BGY8CDDY6XH99NXJ&amp;" target="_blank">The Expectant Father</a></p>
<p>Armin A. Brott</td>
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<td valign="top">Dads traditionally have a hard time connecting with really small infants. This book gives you all sorts of little activities and "games" you can play with your newborn. It tells you what ages are appropriate for these activities and what you can expect. Makes it a lot more interesting to spend quality time with the new baby if you know what your baby is capable of.</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0743410343?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0743410343&amp;adid=0VVXECWPMG8MRFP1EA70&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51243M8Q9ZL._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0743410343?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0743410343&amp;adid=0VVXECWPMG8MRFP1EA70&amp;" target="_blank">Rookie Dad</a></p>
<p>Susan Fox</td>
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<td valign="top">Not quite as useful (to me) as the Expectant Father, this book gives you some ideas about what's happening in that first year. What will your baby be able to do? When does teething start? When do you get to sleep again? How does the baby affect your taxes?</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0789202751?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0789202751&amp;adid=1K2QF5158N4FBRHC1FX0&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51NH4WE8A2L._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0789202751?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0789202751&amp;adid=1K2QF5158N4FBRHC1FX0&amp;" target="_blank">The New Father</a></p>
<p>Armin A. Brott</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0789202751?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=am1&amp;creativeASIN=0789202751&amp;adid=1K2QF5158N4FBRHC1FX0&amp;" target="_blank"> <img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/buttons/buy-from-tan.gif" border="0" alt="Buy from Amazon.com" /> </a></td>
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<td valign="top">I <strong>love</strong> this book. Kay Willis is the mother of 10 children and they all seem to have survived into well-balanced adulthood. She shares some really excellent tips on how to balance your life and how not to get caught up in the small stuff. One of the life-changing concepts in this book was the idea of making sure mom has a day off every week. It is hard to overcome moms' innate self-sacrificial tendencies, but you must. As Kay says "nobody wants leftover mom."</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0446673455?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0446673455&amp;adid=0GEZKCSRCH4Z78WYVK53&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51NTn0Rf05L._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0446673455?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0446673455&amp;adid=0GEZKCSRCH4Z78WYVK53&amp;" target="_blank">Are We Having Fun Yet?</a></p>
<p>Kay Willis</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0446673455?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=am1&amp;creativeASIN=0446673455&amp;adid=0GEZKCSRCH4Z78WYVK53&amp;" target="_blank"> <img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/buttons/buy-from-tan.gif" border="0" alt="Buy from Amazon.com" /> </a></td>
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<td valign="top">In this case "discipline" doesn't mean punishment. It means structure and ritual and the framework that kids can come to count on. As your kids head towards preschool, read this.</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1559584971?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=1559584971&amp;adid=0D34DTP0WNH28YNPZ4P4&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51CHRHWGNAL._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1559584971?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=1559584971&amp;adid=0D34DTP0WNH28YNPZ4P4&amp;" target="_blank">Positive Discipline for Preschoolers...</a></p>
<p>Jane Ed.D. Nelsen</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1559584971?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=am1&amp;creativeASIN=1559584971&amp;adid=0D34DTP0WNH28YNPZ4P4&amp;" target="_blank"> <img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/buttons/buy-from-tan.gif" border="0" alt="Buy from Amazon.com" /> </a></td>
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<td valign="top">Another good book about giving kids inner discipline.</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0380719541?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0380719541&amp;adid=1XQW5QCYZ0T3ABMCE6NX&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51CRPQ26Y6L._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0380719541?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0380719541&amp;adid=1XQW5QCYZ0T3ABMCE6NX&amp;" target="_blank">Kids Are Worth It!</a></p>
<p>Barbara Coloroso</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0380719541?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=am1&amp;creativeASIN=0380719541&amp;adid=1XQW5QCYZ0T3ABMCE6NX&amp;" target="_blank"> <img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/G/01/buttons/buy-from-tan.gif" border="0" alt="Buy from Amazon.com" /> </a></td>
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<td valign="top">This is another groundbreaking book for me. It emphasized a lot of key concepts that I (when I remember) make really good use of. Getting down on kids physical level to talk to them. Talking to them like they are adults. Treating them with the same respect verbally, non-verbally, and physically that you would show to a peer adult. It is really outstanding.</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0471039969?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0471039969&amp;adid=1QZ60XW1JNH89XCM7NWS&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51I7DhP9q-L._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0471039969?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=0471039969&amp;adid=1QZ60XW1JNH89XCM7NWS&amp;" target="_blank">The Gentle Art of Communicating with Kids</a></p>
<p>Suzette Haden Elgin, PhD</td>
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<td valign="top">Our boys are very independent and strong-willed. This book puts that in a positive light and shows you how to get the most out of it.</td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1593373813?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=1593373813&amp;adid=0CDFTYVN29ZCT7R97H5H&amp;" target="_blank"><img src="http://rcm-images.amazon.com/images/I/51RDTF77HKL._SL110_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td>
<td valign="top"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1593373813?tag=pacohope-20&amp;camp=14573&amp;creative=327641&amp;linkCode=as1&amp;creativeASIN=1593373813&amp;adid=0CDFTYVN29ZCT7R97H5H&amp;" target="_blank">Everything Parent's Guide To The Strong-Willed Child</a></p>
<p>Carl E. Pickhardt</td>
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		<title>Doulas and Midwives: Not the same thing</title>
		<link>http://paco.to/2007/doulas-and-midwives-not-the-same-thing</link>
		<comments>http://paco.to/2007/doulas-and-midwives-not-the-same-thing#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 May 2007 02:52:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>paco</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Childbirth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hobbies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paco.to/?p=173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My article "Bad news about giving birth at Reston Hospital" has gotten a couple comments which, when combined with other emails from friends who ought to know better, made me want to write a bit more on this subject. I think I am going to stop using the words "doulas" and "midwives" in the same [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My article "<a href="/?p=149">Bad news about giving birth at Reston Hospital</a>" has gotten a couple comments which, when combined with other emails from friends who ought to know better, made me want to write a bit more on this subject. I think I am going to stop using the words "doulas" and "midwives" in the same sentence, starting now. Too many people think that the two are related or similar. They're not. When you're a hundred miles away, two things that are miles apart can look pretty close together.<span id="more-173"></span></p>
<p>People who think that "normal" birth is in a hospital and nominally overseen by an obstetrician seem to view anything non-medical as more-or-less the same thing. That's the hundred-miles-away thing. The reasoning seems to go: "A doula's not a doctor. A midwife's not a doctor. They must be similar." They're not. If you're going to have a birth, I strongly recommend a midwife as your primary caregiver. Having a doula around might be nice, too. They have a special role to play, but they're not the same.</p>
<p>I pointed out that Reston Hospital has a <em>policy</em> against doulas. <a href="http://www.alace.org/ca.html" target="_blank">Doulas</a>, while many are trained and certified to <a href="http://www.dona.org/develop/certification.php" target="_blank">significant standards</a>, are not recognized by medical boards the way doctors and registered nurses are. Thus, for a hospital to have a policy against (in their view) unqualified attendants is (again in their view) justified. On the other hand, no hospital is likely to have a policy against certified nurse midwives, because that's like having a <em>policy</em> against registered nurses. It doesn't make sense. So what I said about Reston Hospital is that they ban doulas. Coincidentally, but unrelated, they have no currently practicing midwives there. There aren't many midwives in the area as it is, and the ones that are around don't work at Reston. So "ray" who agreed "with the hospital's decision not to allow doula's and mid wives," doesn't get that difference. The hospital doesn't ban midwives. The midwives choose to work elsewhere.</p>
<p>Folks who lump midwives in with other caregivers simply because neither is an obstetrician have no earthly idea what they're talking about. Consider the dentist's office. You don't lump dentists in with dental hygienists. Sure, you see both at the dentist's office, but one has been to medical school and is the equivalent of an MD. The other has been to significant training, but not at the same level, rigor, and depth. <a href="http://www.careerprospects.org/briefs/K-O/NurseMidwives.shtml" target="_blank">Certified Nurse Midwives</a> are RNs and then some. (In Virginia, "direct entry midwives" are also now legal, but there are very few of them. In this article, I'm only talking about <a href="http://www.acnm.org/" target="_blank">CNM</a>s) They serve as primary care providers in some situations and they even have limited abilities to write prescriptions. Doulas on the the other hand, are trained in helping women cope with labor, understand their body's signals, and get through labor well. They do a lot more, but I have less experience with them so I don't want to get too far afield. Anyways, one is a registered nurse who went on and got further medical training in childbirth. The other is a lay person trained in helping with emotional and physical aspects of labor, but not medical issues.</p>
<p>So the notion that midwives "sometimes ... are more of a distraction than help (many a times they argue with the doctors/nurses, right or wrong..., and create a chaotic environment" is absurd. Midwives <strong>are</strong> the nurses. A well-trained doula does anything but create chaos, since chaos and stress work against labor—something doulas understand well.</p>
<p>Consider the other comment on my blog, from a woman who had significant problems with her birth and would not want to deliver at home. No argument here. Midwives are not the same thing as home birth. Again, people tend to lump all the non-obstetrician stuff together. Midwives, home births, it's all the same. It's not. Could a midwife have led that high-risk birth? I think most midwives would say "that's high risk. I'm going to refer you to our obstetrician." Rightly so, and well done. In fact, in Virginia, all CNMs are required to be affiliated with an obstetrician, who presumably collaborates on their work and handles the high-risk pregnancies. The midwife can attend and assist like any nurse can, and arguably better than an RN because of her/his additional medical training. Midwives only lead the low-risk, normal births, which, by the way, is the vast majority of women. They're trained to recognize signs of high-risk circumstances and call in obstetricians at the right time. This is real, medical nursing.</p>
<p>Then there's the issue of having a doula when you're eclamptic and hemorrhaging and all that. Given that a doula is not a medical practitioner and isn't expected to address the eclampsia or hemorrhaging, you have to decide whether she can be of service to you in one of the ways she is <a href="http://www.dona.org/develop/certification.php" target="_blank">trained to help</a>. Can she help you relax and get through it with greater confidence and comfort? If so, get yourself a doula. If having that person around will not actually help you, then a doula is not for you. Does a doula have a place in a high-risk, high-intervention birth? Absolutely, if everyone is on-board with that decision. If the mother will benefit and the medical staff are amenable, a doula can be a real asset.</p>
<p>I never argued against hospitals. I argue against the artificial norm that hospitals are establishing. Having a baby at a hospital is safe and its a great place to be. The interventions, however, (pitocin, epidurals, caesarians) should not be seen as normal. They have their uses, but obstetricians and hospitals are reaching for them much too often, to the point that women don't realize that childbirth can happen perfectly well without them.</p>
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		<title>Bad News for Giving Birth at Reston Hospital</title>
		<link>http://paco.to/2007/bad-news-for-giving-birth-at-reston-hospital</link>
		<comments>http://paco.to/2007/bad-news-for-giving-birth-at-reston-hospital#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Feb 2007 02:12:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>paco</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Childbirth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hobbies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paco.to/?p=149</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you are at all interested in having a say in how your baby is born, it's a good idea to have your baby born somewhere other than Reston Hospital. There are quite a few reasons, but basically they are very interventionist (meaning they like to do medical things even when your birth is normal [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If you are at all interested in having a say in how your baby is born, it's a good idea to have your baby born somewhere other than <a href="http://www.restonhospital.com/" title="Reston Hospital" target="_blank">Reston Hospital</a>. There are quite a few reasons, but basically they are very interventionist (meaning they like to do medical things even when your birth is normal and low risk) and they are not very open to parents who want to make decisions. Here's a mixture of fact and opinion.</p>
<p><span id="more-149"></span></p>
<h3>1. The Caesarian rate is off the charts</h3>
<p>My friends who asked the hospital staff recently were told that the <a href="http://www.caesareanbirth.com/knowledge.html" title="Caesarian discussion" target="_blank">Caesarian</a> section rate is an astounding 47% for 2006. When my wife enquired about the 2005 numbers, it was 42%. There is no excuse for a caesarian rate to be so high. In our area, Fairfax Hospital handles the bulk of the really high risk mothers, neonatal  intensive care, and other unusual circumstances that would push statistics higher. Reston has no such formalized role. If you're having a birth at Reston, you have a seriously good chance of having a Caesarian section. There are a lot of reasons you don't want that, but those reasons are not the subject of this rant.</p>
<h3>2. My Way or the Highway</h3>
<p>This boils down to a few specific issues:</p>
<h4>2.a. No Doulas</h4>
<p>It is my understanding that Reston has banned doulas of all sorts from the labor and delivery process. Want a doula to be part of your birth? Go somewhere else. They're not welcome here. [update: This seems to have created some confusion. If you don't know the difference between a midwife and a doula, check out my post "<a href="/?p=173">Midwives and Doulas: Not the Same Thing</a>"].</p>
<h4>2.b. No Dads in the Nursery</h4>
<p>This is a bit more hearsay than some of the other statements here. My friend's wife recently gave birth at Reston and he was not allowed into the nursery to bathe his newborn daughter, nor was he allowed in the nursery when the PKU test was administered.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.loudounhospital.org/" title="Loudoun Hospital" target="_blank">Loudoun Hospital</a>, where my second son was born, was more reasonable on this point. I bathed my son in the nursery, and I was present for the PKU test. There are times when non-staff are not allowed in the nursery at Loudoun—namely when the doctors and/or hospital staff are discussing the particulars of a patient. That makes sense. Categorically denying dads in the nursery does not make sense. My friend says he was explicitly told, during their hospital tour, that he <em>would</em> be allowed into the nursery.</p>
<h4>2.c. No Midwives</h4>
<p>The hospital, as far as I know, has no policy against midwives. In fact, in 2003, my first son was delivered there by a midwife. (Our experience at that time wasn't so bad) When we looked in 2006 to have another child, we could not find any midwives practicing at Reston. Probably due to the hostile attitude, but that's just conjecture and opinion on my part.</p>
<h3>3. A Bright Spot</h3>
<p>Sounds to me like the anaesthesiologists at Reston have a somewhat unusual and good practice with respect to epidurals. Nevermind that epidurals are administered way too often It sounds like my friend's wife was administered the lowest effective dose, enabling her to feel something, but still eliminating most of the pain. As far as i know, the vast majority of anaesthesiologists fully numb the mother from the waist on down, and don't consider the option of leaving her some sensation.</p>
<h3>My Point</h3>
<p>My point in all this is that doctors and hospital officials are pushing childbirth towards unnecessary interventions and are really not giving women the benefit of options. Through "policies" that unnecessarily restrict the woman's options, they artificially create a "norm" of pitocin, epidural, caesarian births.</p>
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